So here’s the thing.
I. Don’t. Know. What. To. Do.
Let’s put this simply.
- There’s a guy, okay.
- He’s in the year above.
- He texts me. A lot.
- He’s told me he likes me.
- He’s never met me in person.
Get the jist? Uhm hum. And it’s the awkward stage of I-don’t-know-whether-I-like-him-or-not. BECAUSE I HAVE NEVER MET HIM IN PERSON. I know who he is, I’ve seen him around, but I’ve never actually spoken to him… And it seems like he’s too awkward to actually come and find me. Sound familiar?
I’m just sick of people talking to me all the time online but never in person. Let me put this into perspective.
LSSEoaG (I can’t even remember what I called him now, okay. I’m going to make a glossary. You’re welcome. For now, I’ll call him… Skate. Because, well, he’s a skateboarder. Legit. Remember that.) – In the 9 months that I’ve been talking to him, he’s become a really good friend of mine. He’s nothing but nice to me and ugh. Yes, he’s infuriating and annoying and hot and lovely and cool and yeah, and we’ll literally talk for hours. But… I’ve only properly talked to him face to face about… four… maybe five times? That’s really bad. Especially because as you know, he went to my school. Not forgetting the whole I’ll-just-glance-up-at-you-in-the-corridor-with-my-beautiful-eyes-without-actually-saying-hey thing that he always did.
Deluded (remember that guy? No? Okay, well he’s Skate’s best mate and he’s really nice. But he’s overly-obsessed with computers and gaming and himself, even though he says he’s not and Skate said something about it to him without consulting me and that was awkward because I believe he overreacted and then Deluded felt bad an apologised… whoops. But seeing as he’s not so deluded now, let’s call him… J because initials. Have fun guessing his name!) – Now he is really nice. We’ve been talking on le old Skype for abouuuuutttt five, six months? I’m not entirely sure on that one. Actually, hold on, I’ll check. *returns* Six months. And I’ve spoken to him a grand total ooooooof…. TWICE. Ahahaha, twice. Once when I forced my yearbook upon him at the end of the year and then when we met up at the cinema and a certain restaurant that rhymes with Bankie and Fenny’s… *cough*. And he’d also do the whole I’ll-occasionally-smile-at-you-but-I-won’t-properly-achknowledge-you-if-I-see-you thing. Now that he’s moved, however, he seems much more keen to meet up. I met up briefly with him a couple of weeks ago, which I think I mentioned, and I got a hug and looked like a total creep stroking his hair… But *bursts into crappy rendition of ‘I love it’, you know, the one that goes ‘I crashed my car into a bridge, I watched and let it burn’
stupidest lyric ever, personally Not heard it? You don’t want to.* But anyway, I’m meeting up with him in town in October and he’s insisting on giving me a guitar lesson on how to play some Veil of Maya song (which will be totally embarrassing because I can’t do picking to save my life) through Facetime tomorrow so… should be interesting.
And thirdly… Flirt. That bastard. (Do I really need to explain who he is? If you’ve only just followed me, first of all, thank you! and secondly, just read back a little. Actually, let’s change his name tooooooooo *list of expletives fill mind* Jerk. Dick. Dickhead. Let’s call him Dickhead.) – Short story this one. Flirted during the summer. Apparently really liked me. Three days before the end of the holidays, we became official. First day back at school… We became… unofficial. By text. By fucking text. He hadn’t seen me or made an effort at all in that time and decided it wasn’t ‘working’. Maybe if he’d actually talk to me-shut up
. And so, my four day relationship ended. It’s not been too awkward actually, thank the holy mother of sloths. There’s still the awkward accidental eye contact thing but I’ve had a couple of conversations with him since. Oh and did I update you on his break up excuse? No? Okay, well he texted- (someone please tell me what the past tense of ‘text’ is because this is going to forever annoy me)- me to say that it was because he didn’t want to leave his friends and I wouldn’t want to leave mine and mine are so ‘different’. Ha. Yeah. Mine are absolute social outcasts who annoy the hell out of me. But anyway, in other words, it ended because of popularity statuses and he wanted to let me know that he still thinks I’m pretty, clever and whatever other bullshit he said, and that things could still happen. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha NO. Does he really think that I’m just going to wait around for him? Honey, I don’t think so.
And those are the main subjects.
So this guy. Like Skate, he’s nothing but nice to me. But… excessive texting. Every day. At every chance. Don’t get me wrong, I’m flattered that he wants to talk to me but to be fair, there’s not really much variation in conversation. It’s kind of limited, you know? And he’ll flirt… And automatically I’d want to flirt back, just because it’s how flirting works… But the thing about that is, well, I don’t know whether I want to flirt with him. He’s lovely and everything but I can’t help wondering whether he just wants the relationship. When we first started talking, he’d always come to me with some ‘girl problem’ about how he liked this girl and she ignored him or something and this was with about three different girls… And I got bored. And he tells me I’m special etc etc etc but I don’t know whether I can believe him or not. I just don’t trust people as much as I used to.
So I don’t know what to do. I’ve kind of just stuck to subtle flirting, avoiding it when possible until I’ve actually met up with him personally and I know what he’s like. I don’t know what I’m doing right now because I don’t know whether I like him or not. I really don’t. I’m lost right now.