I’ve wanted to write this post for a while. I want to write this because ‘society’ is something that affects everyone. Whether you live in America, Africa, Spain, Morocco, Pakistan, China, England, or anywhere else in the world, I’m certain that you, or someone you know, has been affected by our society. It affects us in different ways, some more than others, but I know that millions of young people, are suffering right now because of the distorted image that society forces us to see.
The truth is, we all have something about ourselves that we don’t like. ‘Flaws’. Whether you’re a girl or a boy, you probably see something that, when you look in the mirror, you dislike. Hair, eyes, nose, mouth, spots and blemishes, your smile and your teeth, your waist, boobs, stomach and thighs. Your hands and feet. Your height. Weight. You.
Why is it that we hate ourselves so much? Why is it that we constantly think we are worthless?
Because society tells us to.
Not only do I mean through the media: seeing beautiful slim women, or tall, muscular guys everywhere we go, modelling some luxury line that we can’t afford. I also mean that society, the people around us, expect us to be modest and to dislike something about ourselves because if we don’t, we’re labelled ‘arrogant’, ‘bitches’, ‘big headed’. If you walked up to someone you know, in your school or work place or wherever you spend your time, and asked them ‘do you like everything about yourself?’, ‘do you like the way you look?’, the majority of those people would say no. We are pressured into finding flaws in our appearance, just to please the people around us.
The thing is, where we see flaws, other people see beauty. That’s probably hard to believe, but if you told a friend all the things you don’t like about yourself, no doubt they would be confused, or maybe even shocked as to why you hate that specific feature because they see you as the beautiful person you are. They do not see you as the girl or boy with the weird smile, or the hair that won’t style right. They do not see you as the person with huge thighs and a fat stomach. They see you as someone they admire and love and look up to. They see you as someone they wish they could be.
And vice versa: We look at our friends and family; our brothers and sisters and think, ‘I wish I could have his/her nose, I wish my hair was like hers, his smile is gorgeous, I wish mine could be like that.’ And inside, I bet that they have just as many insecurities as you. And we think, ‘why can’t they see what I see?’ Well, they’ll be asking themselves the exact same question.
I want you to go right now, and grab some paper and a pen. Right now. Go.
You best not still be here.
Right, I really hope you’ve got those things now. On your paper, write down everything you don’t like about your appearance. Everything. No matter how weird or awkward these things are, write them down.
Good. Now look at your list. Are any of those things going to stop you from getting good grades at school? No. Are any of those things going to stop you from earning that place at university or college? No. Are any of those things going to stop you from getting that job? No. They are not. Your dress size is not going to stop you from becoming a lawyer, a doctor, a politician. The gap in your teeth is not going to stop you from becoming a musician, a dancer, an actor. Only your attitude can do that.
‘But I’m going to be alone forever because I’m not attractive and I’m not going to get a boyfriend or a girlfriend because I’m not pretty or hot enough.’
Shut up and listen to me. That doesn’t matter. It might seem like the end of the world if that guy or girl doesn’t like you back, but it’s not. You have your whole life to find someone to be in a relationship with. You do not need to worry about it now. Yeah, it’d be nice. I get that. And I’ve had days where I’ve thought, ‘WHHHYYYY AM I STILL SINGLE EEEUUUGGGHHH EVERYONE’S IN RELATIONSHIPS AND I’M ALOOONNNNEEE WWHHHYYYYY’ But it really does not matter. You’re just going to be spared the heartbreak and the limitation for a while longer. That’s all. I have never been in a relationship. Yeah baby, woo for me. And occasionally it has got me down. But I’ve learnt to just get over it and move on because it’s really not worth it.
People are going to be mean to you. They’re going to talk about you and they’re going to insult you. But you just have to decide who’s worth the tears and who’s not. It’s easier said than done. I know. But you cannot let them decide your flaws and you cannot let them determine your happiness. Just because they’re stupid pricks who deserve to die in a pot of boiling hot acid.
We are each blessed with a life and a body and whether you like it or not, you are stuck with that for your whole life. A body is a body. It does the same thing as everyone else; it enables you to stay alive. If one is skinnier than the other, so what? They’re both the same. Don’t let the negative thoughts creep in, you cannot afford to let them bring you down.
Your skin is just a mask. Your body is just something that enables you to live. It doesn’t define who you are. It’s cliché but beauty is truly on the inside, not the outside, and you need to love yourself. I don’t even know you guys and I only know what a handful of you look like. But what I do know, is that each and every one of you, no matter what your age, gender, sexuality, nationality, weight, height… each and every one of you is a beautiful human being.
Before I leave you, I just want to ask you to do something. For one week, I want you to write down at least one thing every day, that you like about yourself. This could be anything. Primarily to do with appearance, but why not add good personality traits or talents to that list? So, by the end of the week, you will have at least seven things on your list. I then want you to compare your lists and see what an amazing human being you are. I know that I lot of you won’t do this. I don’t even know how many of you will have read this to this point. But if you have, thank you. And if you decide to do this, which I really hope you will, please please please let me know in the comments. I’m going to do it, so I really hope at least one of you will too. And if you feel like it, we could make this a trend. Spread the happiness guys! : )
The aim of this post was to try my best to make at least one person feel even slightly better about themselves. And if I have done that, I’m so glad.
Love you all.
credit to @youre_tacky on instagram 🙂
P.s. I’m really sorry I haven’t been posting again, I’ve had some stuff going on but hopefully I’ll be able to finally stalk all your blogs and read all your posts because I still haven’t got round to it aaah! And I wrote a post in the hairdressers the other day, so I need to post that too 🙂 Have a lovely evening/morning/afternoon/night/day everyone, thanks for reading.