SOOOOWWWWWEEEEEEEEE :(

HELLO NICE CONSISTANT BLOGGERS WHO CAN ACTUALLY BE BOTHERED TO POST STUFF ON THEIR BLOGS! Firstly, I have to apologise (again) for not posting in ages! If I give you my reasons, will you spare my life? …Thank you.

I'm sorry but this is just too funny.

I’m sorry but this is just too funny.

1. I had a shit load of homework to do. Like, masses. Can teachers not see that we have social lives? And commitments to the internet? Well obviously not because they just keep on giving us more and more crappy homework that I really DGAF about. I mean, yeah, some of it is partly my fault… not getting enough done in class because I am a sociable person who enjoys conversation but come on. I’m sorry for being a twat who talks too much about shit that no one actually cares about so interested in the work that I just have to discuss the subject with others, but can’t be helped. I still have bucket loads of homework to do, which is pretty crap seeing as it’s Easter break and I want to have fun during this rare, joyous time of not having to get my lazy ass out of bed until like, 12. But noooo, I have had numerous things forced upon me to do over the holidays. Thanks.

Le backdrop... dayum I'm going to miss it. <3

Le backdrop… dayum I’m going to miss it. ❤

2. THE SHOW. (Beauty and the Beast if you didn’t know.) I had so many after school rehearsals leading up to the performances, then the following week consisted of the actual performances, which I was shitting myself about. The show was awesome but I was exhausted and simply did not have the energy to make my dead finger click on the WordPress icon and type some words. (Just ignore the fact that I was perfectly capable of using Instagram and Thumb and all those other apps that I am totally addicted to. But they don’t require thought. So I have an excuse here.)

3. Which leads me on to number threeeeee. INTERNET ACCESS. A miraculous thing has happened. My internet no longer spazzes out and turns off at 9:30pm because of the motherfcking parental block. IT STAYS ON FOREVER. *cue gasps from crowd of little children* So, my nights go something like this:

10pm

Me: I should probably go to bed.

Me: Wait, I’ll just mmm… go get some cereal or something.

Me: *returns with several digestives* Nom nom nom nom.

Me: I should probably return this plate…

Me: Where are my motherfcking PJs?!

Me: *spies PJs out of corner of mon eye* Meh, I’ll get them in a second just after I’ve googled Ben and Jerrys ice cream flavours.

Me: Right I am going to go to- OMFGASDFGHJKLSLOTHONESIEERMAGHERD- £50 WTF. I’ll just see if there are any cheaper ones on Amazon…

Me: *on Amazon* What was that book I wanted…

11pm

Me: *still on Amazon* Heyy didn’t I see that one somewhere else cheaper? I’ll just google that…

Me: OMFG THE MUSIC VIDEO FOR 22 IS FINALLY OUT MUST WATCH

Me: *dances around*

Me: *clicks on numerous random YouTube recommendations*

Me: Ermagherd, how does she do her eyeliner so well? *searches on YouTube*

Me: *finally gets into PJs*

Mother: Shouldn’t you be in bed? *disapproving glare*

Me: …I’m just about to… I was… finishing some *shit shit shit what homework haven’t I supposedly been doing for the past 3 months every time she asks* …writing.

11:30pm

Me: *in bed* I’ll just see if there are any new pictures on Instagram?

11:45pm

Me: *still on Instagram* If that bitch has posted any more photos I’m gonna-

Etc etc etc.

This goes on and on and on, until I look at my clock and I realise that it is no longer 10pm, it is in fact 2am and I have to get up early next morning.

Okay, so yes, I was googling Benedict Cumberbatch's cheekbones. Okay, so yes, I was googling Benedict Cumberbatch’s cheekbones.

4. My guitar. This sexual thing is responsible for the numorous hours spent simply playing the same song over and over until I hate it. It’s too tempting, just to pick it up and start playing something… And then I hear a song on my Spotify and I just have to find the chords for it… Argh.

5. My dog/My sister/The act of my sister persuading me to take my dog out for a walk. In the evenings, I go upstairs to my room, sit on my floor by the radiator (which slowly burns my back) and get out my laptop. Oh who am I kidding, it’s already out, it’s always out because it’s always on because I’m addicted. Then, I go to click on le WordPress, and then I am forced upon pain of death to take my dog for a walk. In the cold. -_- IloveyouCifyou’rereadingthisyoushouldn’tbebutyouprobablyareyourebelpleasedon’tkillme.

6. Skype. Skypey skypey skype. I simply cannot concentrate if I’m talking to someone on Skype. Just no. The bleepy sound just… haunts my mind. The stupid icon whispers CLICK ME. CLICK ME. SOMEONE MIGHT HAVE MESSAGED YOU AND IT MIGHT NOT HAVE COME UP AND THEN YOU’LL NEVER KNOW AND YOU MIGHT BE MISSING OUT ON SOMETHING SO JUST CLICK ME. CHANGE YOUR STATUS. LOOK AT WHAT EVERYONE ELSE IS DOING. SOMEONE MIGHT ACTUALLY BE DOING SOMETHING INTERESTING WITH THEIR LIVES. CLICK MEEEEEEEE.

*cough* Well. Enough said.

Well there you have it. Those are the reasons I have for not posting.

ON WITH THE… Post.

That was lame.

Okay so what’s been happening in the wonderous shit hole that is my life?

The first thing that springs to mind is the depressing news that le sexy garçon has infact, a sort-of-but-not-proper girlfriend who really doesn’t like me. LOL. That motherfckingsexybastard. That’s his new name by the way. MFSB. Yup. The thing is, he won’t stop talking about her. Every. Freaking. Conversation. And that’s not great as it is, but it’s even worse because she has a grudge against me. For talking to him. Like whut. The hilarious thing is we were best friends at one point. HAHAHAHAHA. Oh and it’s just fantastic when he says ‘I love her to bits XD’ Do you now. Well that’s great now either STFU about her or leave me to wallow in my misery with hundreds of cups of tea and at least 20 tubs of Ben and Jerrys ice cream.

So yeah, that was great. But you know what? I’m okay with it. I’m not fine. I’m not happy about it and I’m not exactly overjoyed. But I’m okay. I’m over it. Who am I to say who he can and can’t date? He just can’t come crying to me when he realises what an irritating, annoying, over-bearing, jealous, over-protective, clingy bitch she is. It’s all good. I’m going to laugh at his stupidity. LAWL. My bestie is ready to hit him with a shovel.

And I actually can’t think of anything else lazy motherfucker but pleeeaaaaassseee can you guys vote on the poll for what I should post next? Ees at ze bottom! I have a load of ideas and things I need to do, I’m just trying to prioritise! Since I have been away for a looonnggg time, I have a hell of a lot of your posts to catch up on, so I promise I’ll try my best to read them, I’ve probably missed a lot! 😀 Have an awesome day or whatever…

Je t’aime, mes amis!

xx

This just happened.

This just happened. Thanks Google for this.

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