Well well well.

I just realised I haven’t posted anything for about 12 days… So much for that 10 day challenge then. I’m going to continue that from now on. I’ve had so much homework recently that I just haven’t had time to write anything. But hey, I’m back now!
I realise this may be quite a long post so I’m going to do two seperate posts: one about the awkward-guy-friend sit (this one) and another about other shiz. So anyway, here goes.

I found this picture and it explains it exactly.

I found this picture and it explains it exactly.

Awkward guy friend number 2. – Well, awkward-guy-friend-2 has basically been ignoring me ever since the awkward-guy-friend-1 incident. Yeah, that’s about 3 and a half weeks. I spent those weeks debating whether to talk to him about it or whether to just let him get on with it. I decided to just let him get on with it for a long time and I endured being totally isolated and ignored since the start of term again. When le sexy garçon (that’s his new name now by the way) came to talk to me that time (yeah, that amazing conversation aah) the two awkward-guy-friends got the jist of the situation. And then a.g.f.1 (awkward-guy-friend-1) went colder and colder. He’d only speak to me when he absolutely had to, for example when he had to do a science assessment. TOGETHER. Yup, that was awkward. So yeah, that got me down. Big time. But I just thought, ‘you know what? Fuck it.’ Because if he doesn’t want to be friends, fine by me. I guess I just saw his dark side. But then my best mate said I should talk to him. So I did. And basically, to put it briefly, this is what I found out:
He was pissed off because of le sexy garçon because in his words, ‘It was like *le sexy garçon* comes along and bam you’re done with me.’ He actually thought there could be something between us and because of L.S.G he thought ‘it was all broken.’ Then he went on to say how he wasn’t like awkward-guy-friend-1 because he loved me unconditionally. He hated having so much tension between us etc etc etc.’
1. To be ‘done’ with someone, there has to be something there before. Maybe he just meant as in friendship but reading the rest of it, I think not. There was nothing there anyway so I don’t know what he thought.
2. ‘I love you unconditionally.’ – Okay. I’m sorry but really? What do we know about ‘unconditional love’? And surely if it was unconditional, he wouldn’t have been so cold with me.
3. If you hated the tension, why did you do it? JUST HAVE A FREAKING ARGUMENT WITH ME NEXT TIME. My speciality.

I mean, there was a hell of a lot in that conversation, but that was the main bits I guess. He apologised, and said he was acting like a complete idiot, which he was. My sister (hey if you’re reading this, which you shouldn’t be) said he was acting like a bitchy teenage girl. Which is very true actually. I was in tears during this conversation (thanks to ma soeur for making me feel okay, love you) because no matter how many apologies we exchanged, I knew it wouldn’t be the same again. I knew I’d lost one of my best friends, and then knowing what I’d just found out, I knew I’d probably broken his heart. HAHAHA- 2 guys in the space of under a month. Slut. No I’m not exactly feeling good about it, oh no. I feel really bad. But the worst thing about this is that I begin to question myself. I make myself think that I’m the one to blame. I’m not. I can’t help it if I don’t like my friend in that way. I can’t change it. And I’m not going to.
It’s been a bit better since that conversation two days ago. Slightly better. We’re talking to each other for starters. It can still be slightly awkward, but that’s what I expected. In maths today (I think I failed my assessment AHAHAHA. Why do I find that funny?) we had to work together. At one point, he just kind of looked up at me. Not saying anything, he just looked into my eyes and smiled. AWKWARD. I had to look away. Then when I glanced back, he was still doing it. DAFUQ?! I just awkwardly laughed and tried to get on with matching the stupid statements up. I could still feel his gaze and it was oppressive. I just got up and walked away ‘to get some paper’. We didn’t need paper, I just did it to get away. It did the trick though.
So I’ll just see how it goes. I know it won’t be the same, but it might get better. Maybe.

Awkward-guy-friend-1 has been surprisingly alright with it considering what happened. He hasn’t changed, and it’s no where near as awkward as I thought it’d be. Occasionellement, he makes jokes about le sexy garçon. (Or as one of my other friends calls him, Kennedy. It was code because le sexy garçon was in earshot XD) But they’re all lighthearted and can sometimes be quite amusing actually. O___o

We’re studying Much Ado About Nothing in English and we’re watching the film. Some of the things said were so relatable and I almost started crying at one point because it just brought back all the pain of the awkward-guy-friend-1-ignoring-me-and-hating-my-guts-yet-saying-he-loves-me situation. And I could see from across the room that he was thinking the same thing.

xx

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17 thoughts on “Well well well.

    • N’aww missed you too! Your tech ban stops in February right? 🙂 and OOOH I KNOW!!! I was just like WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK?!?! He has nooo idea. God. Get over it mate. XD And yeeessss! Well he hasn’t got bored of me yet… Which is a good sign XD Plus he’s still fit as! :D:D:D

      • its pretty much stopped already, i just have to wait till feb to get my tablet and phone and shit back 😀 OMG BOYS CAN BE SO RIDICULOUS MAN I ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND …. just NEVER start talking to someone that “used to be emo” they WILL propose and tell you they want to spend the rest of their lives with you-__- OMGOMGOMG YAAAAAY:D woiii fit guys are always a plus 😉 GET IN THERE!

      • Yayayayay! :D:D:D urgh I know, and why can’t the guys in our group go crush on someone outside our group-srsly. I mean, one of the guys likes my best friend, then there’s the two awkward-guy-friends… I mean wtf. Ah well they can go fuck themselves. XD ahahahaha I’ll remember that for the future 😀 have you had experience with that then? XDXDXD and yesss!!! That just makes him even betteeerrrrr! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaa yayayayayay! 😀

  1. IKNOW, IM SO EXCITED I’LL BE ABLE TO PLAY TEMPLE RUN 2! :D:D:D we have the EXACT same problem, except I was one of the first people in our group and my EX best friend (lemme make that clear, that girl has issues man *shudders*) was..um..ugly so they all went for me…over and over again -_- if your best friend likes him back, then aww…if not then HAHAHAHAHA XD you should..its a pisstake let me tell you..they should come with warnings or something…UM NO LIKE NOT AT ALL, NEVER EVER EVER HAD SOME WEIRD STALKERY EMO GUY AFTER ME LIKE COME ON NOW XD ooooooooooooh this is all exciting and shit man:3

    • Waheyyyy! It’s awesome, I’ve been addicted to it!! Ooh god yeah, that must have been aaawwkkwwaarrddd! Ahaha she doesn’t like him back so we’re both just like HAHAHAHHAHAHAAHA I said he should send her a valentines cupcake at school that would be interesting XD yeah like all my other ‘friends’ (people-who-aren’t-worth-knowing-but-just-hang-around-with-us-for-the-hell-of-it) are just so annoying so I guess it’s a choice of me or my best friend. Awkward-guy-friend-1 will be asking her out soon I bet, he’s constantly been changing who he likes. One minute it’s me then her, etc etc. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA he’s just going to get rejected again XD and ahhahahahahhahahahahaha okay then XD watch out for ex-emo-stalkers! 😀 and I knoowww! Exciting times!

  2. ermagherd, shoot him please. Why is he being so melodramatic about everything? Please, calm the fuck down, thanks. He ignores you, but he loves you? Unconditionally? Like you have conditions to be tolerated with? yeesh. boys nowadays, they’re just cray.

  3. Oh my god what a douche! i had the same issue with a boy! How are things now?
    Sorry for the random comment.. im not stalking through your old posts….

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